I’m sitting here with you over coffee and contemplating this wonderfully difficult and profoundly simple topic of trust…being worthy of trust.
I don’t know about you, but if I’m honest, I usually think of the word trust in relation to whether or not I trust someone else or not.
But hey, calling myself out here a little, how often do I turn that word back on myself and do a checkup on my trustworthiness. Basically am I just as judicial about monitoring my own character on this topic? Probably not as much as point that focus outward.
Maybe yours does too.
It’s easy to become an expert at spotting the cracks in someone else’s character. We notice the promises they didn’t keep. The times they let us down. The words that didn’t match their actions.
Those things matter.
But I wonder if we spend enough time asking a different question:
If someone were describing me, would they use the word “trustworthy”?
Not because I demanded it.
Not because I believed I was.
But because I had earned it.
The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that trust isn’t usually built in the big moments.
It’s built in the little ones.
Keeping your word when no one is keeping score.
Showing up when you said you would.
Being on time.
Following through.
Protecting a confidence.
Telling the truth, even when it costs you.
Apologizing without making excuses.
None of those moments will ever make the evening news.
But together, they quietly become our reputation.
And here’s something else I’ve been thinking about.
Trust isn’t really something we can ask another person to give us.
It’s something we continually give them reasons to place in us.
That takes consistency.
It takes humility.
And sometimes it means doing the right thing when no one else will ever know we did.
I don’t think trustworthy people are perfect people.
I think they’re people whose actions consistently line up with their words.
You keep a confidence.
You tell the truth when the truth is uncomfortable.
None of those moments make headlines.
But stacked together over days, months, and years, they become something incredibly valuable.
They become trust.
The opposite is true, too.
Trust usually isn’t destroyed by one spectacular event.
More often, it erodes one small disappointment at a time.
A promise broken here.
A half-truth there.
An excuse that sounds reasonable.
Another one.
Before long, it’s not the big event that changed the relationship.
It’s the many little moments that quietly taught someone they couldn’t depend on us anymore.
I think that’s why trust is so precious.
It takes time to build.
It takes consistency to keep.
And once it’s broken, it rarely comes back simply because someone says, “Trust me.”
Words can invite trust.
Only actions can rebuild it.
Maybe that’s why Scripture places so much emphasis on faithfulness.
Being faithful in the little.
Not flashiness.
Not charisma.
Faithfulness.
Showing up.
Doing what you said you would do.
Being the same person in private that you are in public.
I’ve come to believe that trustworthy people aren’t perfect people.
They’re simply people whose actions consistently agree with their words.
That’s a pretty good goal for all of us.
Just something I’ve been thinking about over coffee.
A little homework for the week...
Take five quiet minutes and ask yourself:
“Would the people who know me best describe me as trustworthy?”
Not perfect.
Not impressive.
Trustworthy.
If the answer is yes, thank God and keep living that way.
If the answer is “not always,” don’t be discouraged. Trust isn’t rebuilt overnight—but it is rebuilt one faithful decision at a time.
Think about 1 thing you’ve committed to two different people that you haven’t followed through with yet.
Don’t wait. The coffee is gone now. You’re full of energy and encouragement.
There is no better time than right now than working to become that person everyone trusts fully.
Be the person who follows through.
Make the phone call.
Keep the appointment.
Pray when you said you would.
Show up when it’s inconvenient.
Tell the truth when it’s uncomfortable.
Trust isn’t built in the extraordinary moments.
It’s built in the ordinary ones.
Let’s be those kinds of people this week.
See you next time for a fresh cup of coffee!
~ Coach Mel
Melody Jennings is the Director of the PMC Foundation and a board member of Project Milk Carton, a 501(c)(3) dedicated to child welfare transparency and missing children awareness. Follow her work at projectmilkcarton.org and on X at @thecoachmelshow and @P_MilkCarton.